Here’s the translation of that conversation:
Gene Simmons: (Leroy arrives) Hey Leroy, what’s up?
Leroy Wells: Can you dig! (Paula laughs)
Randy Jackson: It’s this way, right here baby!
Gene Simmons: Yeah, c’mon over.
Randy Jackson: Where you goin’ dawg?
Leroy Wells: (walking over) Oh, no. Jealousy is hate.
Paula Abdul: Yeah.
Randy Jackson: Yee-ah!
Leroy Wells: (shimmies) Whoo! A little Michael Jackson. (Starts rapping - Ol’ Dirty B*stard’s “Got Your Money”)
Leroy Wells: (clapping and stomping as he sings) Hey-yay-ay… ???? Baby I got your money, don’t you worry! Hay-ay can you dig?
Gene Simmons: Wait, wait. Slow down, slow down. Why don’t you introduce us… what’s your name?
Leroy Wells: Okay, my name is Leroy Wells and I sandblast the paint for a livin’ at the shipyard over…with my Dad.
Gene Simmons: What… (Paula laughs into his shoulder)… wait Leroy, you’ve gotta start again.
Randy Jackson: Yeeaaah!
Leroy Wells: I sandblast and paint!
Paula Abdul: Sandblast the paint? !
Leroy Wells: Yes sir!
Randy Jackson: Sandblast the paint what?
Leroy Wells: A shrimp boat. It’s by the… You know, over by the… (muffled) ohhh…It’s a shrimp boat. It’s real slow like. It’s country… and we ain’t making no money… so y’all got to get me on tv… can you dig it!!
Randy Jackson: Yo, yo, yo!
Randy Jackson: Yo, yo, yo!
Paula Abdul: We can dig it! (Leroy starts dancing)
Randy Jackson: But wait a minute… dawg, dawg…
Gene Simmons: Wait a minute come back…
Randy Jackson: Dawg, dawg… so
Leroy Wells: I play the drums, the keyboards, anything… I’m a musician, you (muffled)? You see I got the tech to get y’all crunked so y’all can feel me. …
Randy Jackson: Yo, man, look, we need to get crunked right there. (points to his teeth)
Leroy Wells: Right there. Look. Look. See? White teeth!
Randy Jackson: You got your crunk. Put your crunk… let me hear your crunk
Leroy Wells: (puts his ‘crunk’ on)
Gene Simmons: (suddenly realizing) Oh those aren’t your teeth!
Randy Jackson: Ohhh, he got his crunk on?
Leroy Wells: (clapping, stomping, singing) One two three … here we go … hey, ay, ay … baby I got your money, don’t you worry….
(Everyone apart from Simon claps. Gene gets up and claps Simon’s hand against his while Paula and Randy dance.)
Randy Jackson: Paula, Let’s dance, Paula.
Gene Simmons: (overloaded) I can’t take it any more.
Leroy Wells: Now can you dig it?! Kneel and say (he kneels) thank you Jesus… cos you gotta put Jesus first. If you don’t… you ain’t gonna do nothin…
Randy Jackson: Tell Simon Cowell he’s gotta put Jesus first.
Leroy Wells: Simon (Leroy is pointing in the wrong direction) … if you don’t put Jesus first!
Randy Jackson: No Simon’s over here!
Leroy Wells: Wh… If you don’t put Jesus first, somethin wrong with yer! Now can you dig it? !!!! (Paula laughs)
Simon Cowell: (deadpan) Can I ask you a question? Randy, in America do you have a button that puts subtitles on? Do you? Because I can’t understand a word of it.
Randy Jackson: This guy needs a subtitle. Yo dog! Can you sing?
Leroy Wells: I can sing…It’s crunk. It’s just gonna be crunk… you just gonna do that (shakes)
Randy Jackson: But sing somethin’then…
Paula Abdul: This is a singing competition, honey!
Simon Cowell: Allegedly.
Leroy Wells: I told you what I was singing! “Hey, a hay-hay!”
Randy Jackson: Yeah but…a different song!
Gene Simmons: A real song. James Brown, anything!
Leroy Wells: I feel good! De na na na na na na! I knew that I would! La di-ra-dirn-an-ana-na… Uhhh so good, da-da, so good an’ I got you! Eh eh ehhh ehh! Aighhh! Ah eh da de de der uhh! …
Paula Abdul: I got it!… I’ve got it.
Randy Jackson: You… you’re a stepper man, you’re a stomper! Huh.
Leroy Wells: Yeah, but I’m tryin’ to feel (indistinguishable)…
Randy Jackson: I feel you man! We’re feeling you dawg.
Leroy Wells: Can you dig?
Randy Jackson: Yes! We can dig it baby. Look at Simon, he’s right here with you.
Leroy Wells: Simon, you need to get crunked. Instead of everything chopped, get crunk, bob your head (Leroy bobs his), and do this.
Randy Jackson: Yeah!
Simon Cowell: I agree.
Randy Jackson: Can you imagine if Simon had the crunk teeth like that. If Simon was crunk…
Leroy Wells: I’m gonna take ‘em out look. This is for the TV… and this is for your mommy and daddy! (Gene laughs!)
Randy Jackson: Yeah baby, yeah baby.
Randy Jackson: Dawg you aint right for this man, but listen, we love you man! And the energy. He’s the hype man
Paula Abdul: You are so entertaining and energetic and fun… but you know this isn’t the right competition for you!
Leroy Wells: But see, that’s why I’m on TV right now… so y’all gonna put me on!
Paula Abdul: Can I tell you something? You are definitely gonna be on TV!
Randy Jackson: You’re definitely gonna be on TV man!
Leroy Wells: I know, see that’s the thing… I wanna be on Hollywood! I go to Hollywood… (indistinguishable) y’see y’all don’t want me to go to Hollywood… cos I’m gonna take over…
Randy Jackson: Yeah, you’re gonna take Hollywood on.
Leroy Wells: …and take off, and you know that! So do what you do … it’s all good.
Gene Simmons: Leroy, planet earth calling Leroy. Leroy, you really can’t get a good assessment of what you do until you listen to Simon.
Simon Cowell: Well the winner of the show gets to go on ‘The Jay Lenno Show’ the following day. I’d love to be in their office… planning that interview! Ah… it’s just ridiculous…
Gene Simmons: In a good way
Simon Cowell: … I mean I didn’t understand a word you said!
Leroy Wells: It’s all good! Let me know what’s the deal. Am I in or am I not, so I can go back home and go to work before my daddy.
Simon Cowell: No
Leroy Wells: Okay baby. I respect you.
Randy Jackson: No man. (claps) ‘preciate you dawg!
Leroy Wells: (leaving) Y’all got to say it for me. Can you dig it?
Randy Jackson: Yeah, we can dig it, baby. Keep it crunk, baby. Keep crunk in your life.
Enjoy
No comments:
Post a Comment